


Talk to me, Love

by QueenKatelynTheAristocrat



Series: Malec: "You're Everywhere" verse [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Consent is Sexy, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical, Magnus Bane is an Amazing and Experienced Top, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sex, Smut, Top!Magnus, bottom!alec, talking about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat/pseuds/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat
Summary: "“You said something. Something that I can’t stop thinking about.” Alec confessed, and Magnus turned playful, curious eyes on him.“And what is this titillating thing that I have said that’s driven you to such heights of distraction, pray tell?”“There was a moment when I said, when I asked you what it felt like, and rather than answer, you just said that, well,” Alec saw the exact second when Magnus understood, because a soft blend of surprise and interest lit up his eyes, and Alec almost lost his nerve to continue, but still managed to force the last few words out, “You said that you’d show me.”"Also known as: Magnus promised to show Alec what bottoming felt like next time they had sex, and Alec can't stop thinking about taking him up on that offer.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Malec: "You're Everywhere" verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163444
Comments: 8
Kudos: 231





	Talk to me, Love

**Author's Note:**

> I personally think this is the best smut I've ever written, I'm so proud of this y'all.

It had been a week since he and Magnus had first had sex, and Alec had to admit that in the time between then and now, Alec had thought of little else. 

Every sensual moment had been seared in his memory, and he found himself daydreaming at the institute, standing in line to order food, losing track of conversations with Jace and Izzy, really it was becoming a problem, and from the smirks and the exchanged looks amongst the people around him, he was pretty sure he was fooling no one. 

The only time he’d truly managed to force the thoughts completely out of his mind had been when he was physically fighting demons. Even then, it had taken an embarrassingly short amount of time after the fight for his mind to return to Magnus. This wasn’t even taking into account the thoughts that flashed through his mind whenever a text from Magnus arrived on his phone or when Magnus arrived at the Institute to pick him up for lunch. 

And it wasn’t just a newly awoken heightened sex drive that had Alec so preoccupied, although that definitely did play into it. There was something in particular that he couldn’t help fixating on, something that worried him just as much as it intrigued him, and his drifting thoughts inevitably returned back to it every single time. 

He had no idea how to bring it up to Magnus, especially when the very thought of it had him embarrassed, and then embarrassed about  _ being  _ embarrassed, because really, he was too old to be embarrassed about sex anymore, but here he was -- 

“Alexander.” 

Alec snapped to attention. Magnus had joined him on the couch while he’d been lost in thought, and now he was sitting facing Alec with one leg tucked under him, wearing dark jeans, some sort of flowy black shirt belted at the waist with this silver chainy thing, and several large silver necklaces of various lengths, and now Alec was distracted again, because all he could think was how beautiful he was. 

Magnus caught his attention by stroking a thumb over his cheek. “What are you thinking about?” 

“How beautiful you are.” Alec responded honestly without really thinking about it, but it was worth it to see the way Magnus’s eyes softened at his words, the way he looked at Alec like he couldn’t quite believe he was real. 

That didn’t quite make sense to Alec because clearly  _ Magnus  _ was the one who couldn’t possibly be real. Just  _ look  _ at him. 

Magnus shifted closer to him and moved his hand to Alec’s chin to pull him in for a kiss. “You’re too sweet, my love.” Alec smiled at the pet name. “But what were you thinking about before I got here? You looked very pensive as I arrived.” 

Alec could hear the soft teasing lilt to his voice and had to look away. “Nothing.” 

Magnus gently turned Alec’s face back so that he had to meet his gaze again. “What is it?” His eyebrows were drawn together in worry now. 

Alec didn’t want to worry him, but he also had no idea how to explain himself. “Nothing. I mean, it’s not important, I was just… it’s just that…” 

Alec felt his cheeks heat up and he just  _ knew  _ he was blushing. 

Magnus drew back just enough to really look at him, scanning his face with worried eyes, until suddenly something seemed to click for him, and his expression slowly morphed into a light smirk. “Alec. Is this about sex?” 

_ How  _ did Magnus always read him so easily? Was he really that obvious? Alec hid his face in his arm against the couch. 

Alec felt Magnus’s hand on his shoulder, heard him say, “Hey, hey, hey. It’s just me.” 

Alec turned his head just enough to see Magnus’s expression out of one eye, and found him looking serious and altogether too composed. He went right back to hiding. 

Magnus was quiet for a second, but then Alec felt his hand in his hair, stroking over it gently, something that Alec knew Magnus had noticed worked well to calm him down when he was anxious. “Is it a fantasy? A particularly kinky one? If it is, you don’t have to tell me, but you can if you want. The worst I could say is that I’m not into it. But I can almost guarantee that I’d like it.” 

He knew it wasn’t Magnus’s intention, but that almost made him feel  _ worse _ , because now he felt like he was overreacting.  _ Why  _ did he have to be so inexperienced? “It’s not even anything like that, I just can’t… I mean, I’m not…” 

“Alec.” Something about the tone of his voice had Alec turning to look at him. He looked worried again now. “Remember what I said when we first started dating? About communication?” 

Alec nodded. “Relationships are about communication.” 

“That’s right. And even more than relationships in general, with sex it’s extremely important.” Magnus was looking at him very intently, as if trying to read the truth out of Alec’s mind, “If I have done anything whatsoever to make you uncomfortable, I need you to tell me right now. Did we move too fast? If that’s the case, we can back off for a while. I know we went right to penetrative sex, and I know that’s mostly my fault. I also know the feelings can be very intense, so if you’re feeling overwhelmed --” 

Alec stopped him with a shake of his head. “It’s not that at all, really it’s not, it’s kind of the opposite actually, I just don’t know how to say… God, I’m just making this worse. I’m being ridiculous.” 

Magnus looked at him with something like sympathy and leaned in to kiss him chastely on the lips, “Oh, my darling, please don’t worry. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” 

Alec had to glance away from the look in his eyes. “I am. I promise.” 

Magnus seemed to hesitate for a moment, but when he finally made up his mind and moved up closer to him, Alec leaned against him with relief. They sat there cuddling for a while. After a few seconds, Magnus took Alec’s hand in his and began tracing soft patterns on his skin. Alec sat watching his fingers move, thinking about how attractive his hands were. 

“So, you know, last week, when we were… I mean, during…” Alec began, already embarrassed. 

“Yes, Alec.” Magnus said, and it was clear from the soft amusement in his voice that he understood. Alec gave him a grateful look for not making him say it. 

“You said something. Something that I can’t stop thinking about.” Alec confessed, and Magnus turned playful, curious eyes on him. 

“Did I?” 

“You did. And honestly it’s driving me crazy, because I’ve been way too distracted at the Institute, and I feel like everyone can tell exactly what I’m thinking about, which makes me embarrassed and even more distracted, and then I get mad at myself for being ridiculous, and Magnus, I am literally going to lose my mind.” the words fell from Alec’s mouth in a rush, and honestly it was kind of a relief to finally say what’s been bothering him out loud. 

Alec was still looking straight ahead, but he could see Magnus’s satisfied smile out of the corner of his eye. 

Magnus laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand in reassurance, then said, “And what is this titillating thing that I have said that’s driven you to such heights of distraction, pray tell?” 

Alec was glad for the playful teasing. It made the conversation feel like far less of a big deal, which was exactly what he needed. “There was a moment when I said, when I asked you what it felt like, and rather than answer, you just said that, well,” Alec saw the exact second when Magnus understood, because a soft blend of surprise and interest lit up his eyes, and Alec almost lost his nerve to continue, but still managed to force the last few words out, “You said that you’d show me.” 

Alec’s heart-rate was out of control, and they weren’t even doing anything besides talking. He had no idea how he would survive if Magnus actually made good on his offer. 

“And now you would like to be shown?” Magnus asked calmly. 

Alec hesitated for only a second, then nodded. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” Magnus said it very neutrally, and Alec was glad he didn’t sound skeptical. Like he would trust whatever Alec said next. 

“Is it really that different from… the other way?” 

He watched Magnus consider his answer. “In a completely objective world, no. But in here,” Magnus tapped Alec’s forehead with a finger, “Maybe. It depends how  _ you  _ feel about it.” 

Alec scrunched his eyebrows together. “What do you mean?” 

Magnus sighed. “Alec, I’ve been with a lot of men, quite a few of them in a time when homosexuality was either illegal or seen as a mental illness or a sin, and if there’s one thing I’ve noticed it’s that men who are closeted or recently out see bottoming as fundamentally different. Somehow more shameful than letting someone else bottom for you. I know things have changed a lot in the last few decades, but I also know what kind of environment you were raised in.” 

Alec opened his mouth to answer, but Magnus interrupted him. “I’m not accusing you of anything. I just want you to make sure you’re really ready for this. I’ve had men before, um” Magnus closed his eyes and shook his head a bit, and Alec took note of the pained look that crossed his face, “That either thought they were ready for this step and then weren’t, or never even considered it in the first place.” He huffed out a bitter laugh. “And it was a complete mess.” 

Magnus looked very vulnerable, something Alec had rarely seen before. Alec thought about these past men, the things they must have said or done to make Magnus this worried with Alec right now, and for a moment Alec felt the strong desire to hurt them in return, to hunt them down and make them pay, even though intellectually he knew they would likely be long dead by now. Looking at Magnus now, Alec couldn’t possibly imagine having his heart the way he did and even thinking of harming it. 

He also came to an abrupt realization. “That’s why it turned you on so much. The idea that I was curious about it.” 

Magnus shrugged in a way that meant “yes” rather than “maybe.” 

Alec searched his eyes, trying to think of a response that would reassure Magnus that Alec was different than these other men. He wasn’t completely sure how he’d gone from receiving reassurance to being the one reassuring, but it was nice to not always be the one who was falling apart. He settled on the truth, and hoped that would be enough. “Well, I  _ am  _ curious about it. Very curious. And I don’t think about sex the way these mysterious past losers did.” 

Magnus gave a surprised laugh.

“I may have been raised in a homophobic environment.  _ But  _ not in the same way you’re describing. Shadowhunters just don’t talk about sex at all. Like, never.” Alec knew he was blushing as he said these words, but this was important. More important than his own embarrassment. “That’s why Izzy is so stubborn with her god-awful innuendos. She’s trying to make a point. And it’s also why I’m not good at having conversations like this. But I’ll try to get better. Really. Because I don’t want you to be worried about me when you don’t have to be, and I definitely don’t want to remind you of things from your past that you’d rather forget.” 

Magnus was looking at him with a particular sort of wonder, like Alec had done something magical when all he’d done was be honest. 

“What are  _ you  _ thinking, now?” Alec asked, happy to turn Magnus’s own words back on him. 

Magnus locked eyes with him and said, “That you’re almost too good to be true, but you’ve never lied to me before, so I can’t imagine you would be right now.” 

His voice didn’t sound the way it did when he was purposefully being dramatic. Which Alec was surprised by, because he didn’t see how Magnus could possibly find him that amazing. “I swear to you I’m not. Lying, that is. And you know how much a Shadowhunter’s word is worth.” 

“That, I do.” Magnus answered, absently. “You truly feel no shame regarding being on the receiving side of anal sex? Whether or not you’re ready for it right at this moment?” These last questions were anything but absent. 

Alec turned so that he was practically in Magnus’s lap. “I really don’t.” He leaned in for a kiss, a real one this time, and tried to convey the truth of that statement with his lips. “And --” This was the hardest to answer. Alec had meant what he said about not being ashamed, but that wasn’t necessarily the same thing as being ready to take that step right now. They had plenty of time, there were thousands and thousands of tomorrows that this particular experience could be saved for. Alec rested his forehead against the back of the couch, his cheek pressed to Magnus’s, his hand at the back of Magnus’s neck. 

Alec also knew that if he put this off until next time, he would spend each of those tomorrows obsessively thinking about it, longing to experience it, and honestly, why daydream about something that was sitting right in front of him, something he could have right now? \

He pulled back to meet Magnus’s eyes. “And I think, no, I  _ am  _ ready for it. Right now.” 

Magnus studied him. “Right now?” 

“Right now.” Alec kissed him again, with an intensity that surprised him. Now that he’d made up his mind, he realized just how desperate he was for it. “Right now. Please?” 

Magnus didn’t waste any more time questioning him. He stood, dumping Alec onto the couch from where he was sort of sitting in his lap, then turned and offered Alec a hand with a flourish. 

Alec took his hand and stood, but once he was standing, Magnus didn’t let go of him, but instead led the way to his bedroom still holding his hand, at an unhurried but purposeful pace, glancing over his shoulder to give Alec a playful look that had his heart fluttering. 

Once they reached the threshold of the bedroom, Magnus turned to grab Alec by both hands, spun him around, and walked him backwards up to the bed until his legs hit, then  _ pushed _ . Alec found himself sprawled and wide-eyed, Magnus smirking down at him with warm eyes. Alec moved back until he was leaning back amongst the pillows. Magnus just looked at him for a moment longer, as if drinking in the sight of Alec lying on his bed like a feast waiting to be devoured, then walked leisurely over to his dresser. 

“You should know, Alexander.” Magnus said, in his soft-low voice, removing his jewelry in an unhurried manner that was already driving Alec insane. “That I plan to do this properly.” 

Alec watched him place each piece of jewelry in its exact right spot amongst the rest of it, well aware that Magnus could have done this with magic if he’d wanted to. He was teasing Alec on purpose. “What does that mean?” 

“That means,” Magnus’s belt came undone with a snick, and he hung it with the others, “That I plan to have you absolutely screaming for me before we’re done here. I will have you begging me to fuck you, begging me to fill you up, and by the time I actually give you what you want so desperately, you won’t even notice the pain, you’ll be so blissed out with pleasure. Does that sound good?” Magnus waved a hand and the lighting in the room dropped to the kind of lowlight that made everything look shinier and prettier, especially Magnus. 

Alec thought that sounded amazing, but he wasn’t sure his brain was functioning on a high enough level right now to produce coherent sentences, so he just nodded. 

“Wonderful.” Magnus stopped in front of his vanity mirror and scrutinized his reflection. After a second, he turned to Alec and said, “Do you prefer” he made a small elegant hand gesture towards his face and his eyeliner was suddenly emphasized by silver glitter, “This one?” he made the same gesture and it changed to a blown out black smokey eye, “Or this one?” 

Alec just blinked stupidly in the face of such beauty. 

Magnus walked closer and made the gesture again. “This one?” Again. “Or this one? I really am going to need your help deciding, love.” 

“W-why is that?” Alec asked. 

“Because.” Magnus said, purposefully casual, “I need to know which you’d prefer to see looking up at you when I take your cock in my mouth.” 

A shot of arousal down his spine so sharp he was entirely sure Magnus could read it off his face. “Um.” 

Magnus sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand slowly up Alec’s thigh, stopping to tug on the belt loop over his hip bone. “So, which do you prefer?” 

Alec forced his mind to create coherent thoughts. “You’re beautiful no matter what.” 

Magnus broke character for a second to give him a tender look, and said, “You’re sweet, love. But I still want an answer.” He ran a single finger painfully slowly over the bulge of Alec’s erection, and the light touch was like sweet torture. Alec closed his eyes because watching him was only making it worse. 

Suddenly that hand was on his chest, and he could feel Magnus hovering over him much closer than before. “Oh, no no no, I want you looking at me. Open those gorgeous eyes of yours, love.” 

Alec opened his eyes and Magnus rewarded him by brushing his lips over Alec’s. “What’s your final decision? We don’t have all night.” 

Alec understood that the teasing would only get worse if he didn’t give an answer. “I liked, um” Magnus ran his thumb over Alec’s nipple, and he gasped in surprised pleasure, “The first one. I liked the first one.” 

That same gesture again and the silver glitter was back, sparkling captivatingly in the soft light as Magnus blinked at him slowly. “Thank you, my dearest. You’re being so good.” 

Magnus kissed him, and Alec opened his mouth to him desperately, grabbing his shirt to try to pull him closer, lifting his hips in frustration when Magnus held himself off from touching him everywhere except where their lips met. 

Alec broke the kiss to whine, “Magnus.” 

Magnus chuckled at him and said, “Yes, sweetest?” 

“You’re going to kill me.” Alec blinked his eyes open to see Magnus’s inches from his own.

Magnus stroked his face, leaning down to kiss over both of his eyes. “Oh, my Alexander. You don’t know the half of it.” Abruptly, he swung a leg over Alec’s body, finally,  _ finally _ , straddling his hips, pulling him into a heated kiss, hands tangling in Alec’s hair, and grinding down into him in a way that had Alec clutching at him desperately and gasping into his mouth, already lost to  _ Magnus _ , the smell of him, that sharp and lovely scent of magic and cologne, intoxicating like nothing else in the world. 

Finally, Magnus broke the kiss with a roll of his hips that had Alec’s back arching, his reaction earning one of Magnus’s sexiest smirks, and Alec watched as pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, then grabbed the fabric of Alec’s shirt with both hands near where it was tucked into his jeans, and  _ pulled  _ it untucked, making Alec gasp at the sensation. 

“You see why that’s sexy, now?” he teased, sitting back so that Alec could sit up enough for him to pull his shirt over his head as well, to be tossed away with the other. 

“Yes.” Alec said, leaning back to support himself on his elbows. 

“Yes.” Magnus agreed, pushing gently on Alec’s shoulders to make him lie flat again, and then leaning in to suck a mark onto the skin of Alec’s neck, in a spot he knew Alec liked. “Wonderful.” 

Magnus kissed down Alec’s neck, over his collarbone, and down to his chest, where he stopped to look Alec in the eye before sucking a nipple into his mouth and flicking his tongue over it, biting down gently enough to add only a hint of pain to the pleasure, before pulling off in a way that had Alec imagining him doing the same to his cock. He felt it twitch in response, and saw Magnus smirk at him as if he knew exactly what he was thinking. Magnus kissed further down Alec’s body slowly, occasionally sucking in a way that Alec could imagine leaving marks, moving down his stomach and over his belly button, until he pressed one last kiss to the skin right above the waistline of Alec’s jeans. 

He sat back and hummed happily to be confronted with the evidence of Alec’s arousal. Alec didn’t think he’d ever been harder in his entire life. “What to do about this?” Magnus teased, lowering his head to press a kiss to the top of his bulge that had Alec lifting his hips with a whine. 

“Oh, no. We have to be patient, my love.” Magnus said, pinning Alec’s hips to the bed with both hands, plainly ignoring the look of absolute desperation Alec gave him at that. “Patience is one of the greatest virtues, I hear.” Magnus leaned back down to run his lips over Alec’s clothed erection the same way he’d done with his finger what felt to Alec like an eternity ago. Alec knew Magnus could feel the way his hips were straining against his hold, but he didn’t change what he was doing at all. Just continued teasing Alec so thoroughly that Alec felt like he would die if Magnus didn’t give him more soon. 

Finally, with one last sloppy kiss, Magnus sat back, observed Alec shaking with desperate pleasure and anticipation, eyes squeezed shut, hands clenched in the bedsheets, and when Alec opened his eyes to see why Magnus wasn’t touching him anymore, he found him looking more self-satisfied than Alec had ever seen him, and that was saying something. 

“Just  _ look  _ at you, Alexander, I’ve simply  _ debauched  _ you, and I haven’t even gotten your pants off yet.” Magnus bragged, as if Alec needed the  _ reminder _ of the layers of clothing still separating their skin, but he couldn’t blame him for being proud. Alec thought he deserved it. 

Magnus ran a hand up his leg to the button of his jeans, and brought the other hand in to undo the button. Then he carefully pulled the zipper down, so slowly that Alec thought he might cry. “You know, magic is good for a lot of things. But there’s just something so  _ satisfying _ about this experience that I just wouldn’t get if I magicked you undressed. For example, I can ask you to lift your hips for me,” Alec did just that as Magnus began pulling his jeans off his body, over his hips and down his legs, “and watch you do it for me, so nicely. And I can watch you shake in anticipation for even longer,” Magnus slid back off the bed to pull Alec’s jeans the rest of the way off, “patiently waiting for a type of pleasure that I  _ know  _ you’ve never felt before. Waiting for the feeling of my hot, wet mouth around your cock. I wonder what you’re thinking. Are you trying to imagine what it will feel like? Or are you just mad at me for taking so long to show you?” 

While he’d been talking, Magnus had removed his own pants and underwear, and was now crawling back up the bed to Alec. 

Alec might have thought of answering, but he was so far past words that it didn’t seem worth it to try. Magnus hovered over him, then leaned in for another desperate kiss. “I’m guessing at least a little bit of both.” Magnus pressed one last kiss to Alec’s lips, then slid down his body again, stopped to play with the waistband of Alec’s boxers, even the sensation of the fabric rubbing against his cock enough to have Alec making little noises, he was so aroused. 

Finally, Magnus pulled Alec’s boxers down over his legs, stopping to stroke his cock just enough times to have Alec whining when he stopped, then pulled his underwear the rest of the way off his body and before Alec knew it, his cock was back in Magnus’s hand and he was leaning down, closer and closer, but then he stopped, lips centimeters from the head of Alec’s cock and said, “Look at you already leaking for me.” Alec tried to lift his hips up, but Magnus stopped him with a hand on his hip. He stroked him a few more times, and Alec felt like he was actually going to die this time, this was it, it was over. “You’re so gorgeous.” Magnus said, then leaned down to lick the precome off the head of Alec’s cock, and Alec felt his whole body jerk at the feeling of his tongue after so much anticipation, “And  _ God,  _ love, the way you taste.” 

As promised, Magnus held Alec’s eyes as he finally took his cock into his mouth, but Alec could only take a few seconds of it before he had to throw his head back and close his eyes, the hot wet feeling of his mouth and the sight of him combined too much for him to handle all at once, so instead he just buried one of his hands in Magnus’s hair and closed his eyes to focus on the feeling. 

Alec didn’t think there was anything like this in the entire world, and Magnus was doing this thing with his tongue that Alec didn’t quite understand, but he knew it was amazing, and he lost himself for a good few minutes in the suction and the heat, and before he knew it he was altogether way too close to orgasm. 

He was pretty sure Magnus knew it as well, because it was only a few more seconds before he pulled off with a pop that had a tingle running down Alec’s spine, and then he crawled up the bed to rest on one elbow facing Alec and say, “Do you still want to do this?” in a different voice than the one he’d been using up to this point. This was serious rather than teasing, and Alec opened his eyes to look at him, only a little bit distracted by the way his lips were red and swollen. 

“Alec?” 

“Yes. Yes, I do.” Alec answered, without hesitation. And he meant it. There was nothing he wanted more in the world right now than to feel Magnus inside him. 

Magnus pressed a sloppy kiss to Alec’s lips. “Then I’m going to ask you to turn over for me. Just for the prep. It’ll be easier for you that way.” 

Alec didn’t see any reason to argue with Magnus, given that he definitely knew what he was talking about better than Alec did. Alec turned over onto his stomach, his face pressed into the pillows. 

Magnus stroked his hair. “I want you to turn your head and look at me. I know it might feel more vulnerable that way, but I want to be able to check in with how you’re feeling more easily, ok?” 

Alec did as he said. 

“There you are.” Magnus said as Alec met his eyes. “Are you relaxed? I need you relaxed.” 

Magnus rubbed his hands up and down Alec’s back, massaging any tense muscles he found on the way, and Alec closed his eyes and tried to let his entire body relax. Magnus pressed a kiss to the back of his neck that made him shiver. 

He felt Magnus’s hands moving lower and lower as he went, until he was running his thumbs over the divots of his hips on his lower back. And then, Magnus’s hands were on his ass, massaging lightly, not yet attempting to open him up, just letting him get used to the feeling of being touched there. 

Alec tried to get used to it. It was already such a new sensation that he had no idea how he was going to manage to stay calm later on. Just the thought of it was making him tense up again, which made him more worried about being tense right now, which increased the original anxiety, and -- 

“Love, I can feel you spiraling. What’s wrong? Is this too much right now?” Magnus’s voice was soft and understanding. 

“No, I want this. Really, I do.” Alec meant it, and he believed it, so if both of those things were true, then why couldn’t he relax? 

“Then what’s wrong?” Magnus stopped touching him and moved back up to lie next to him and look into his eyes. 

“Can’t relax. And if I can’t relax now, how can I relax when…” Alec couldn’t say it, but he hoped it was pretty obvious what he meant. 

“Don’t think about later. Don’t even really think about right now.” Magnus was stroking the skin of his upper back again, “Stop thinking in general. Yes, I know how hard that is for you. Stop trying to force yourself to relax. If you think too hard about it, your body will do the opposite of what you want it to.” 

Magnus’s hands were back on his ass. “Focus on my voice. Focus on how you feel. Not in your mind, but in your body.” 

Alec managed to stop thinking so thoroughly that he was surprised when Magnus ran a finger over his hole. Alec felt his inner muscles flex in surprise, and then relax again. Alec felt him run the same finger across his opening a few more times, and then slowly around in a circle. 

The feeling was strange and new, but not bad. The more Alec got used to the relaxing feeling of the circling, the more it began to feel pleasurable, and then he found himself wondering for the millionth time that week, what it would feel like  _ inside, _ except now it was worse because he knew what this almost penetration felt like, and so it was so much easier to imagine what it would feel like when it  _ really  _ happened. 

And honestly, he was getting desperate to find out. “Magnus, I…” 

“Mhm?” Came the gentle response. 

“I want… I mean, I…” Alec tried, but every way he could think of saying it was something he couldn’t make himself say. 

“You’re ready?” Magnus tried. 

“Yes. Please.” Alec was happy to go with that. 

Magnus’s hands disappeared for a moment, and while they did, Magnus kept talking. “I promise I won’t do it this time,” he began, and Alec glanced back to see him opening a newly conjured bottle of lube, “But one of these days, I am going to make you say the words, Alec.” 

Something between apprehension and arousal made Alec shiver. “But not this--?” 

“Not this time. Maybe not the next time. Or even the one after that.” Alec felt better hearing that, “But one of these times, I would like to hear you say all these dirty things that you can’t make yourself say right now. I think it could be fun.” 

Alec wasn’t completely sure about that yet, but the thought of it flew from his mind as that finger returned to his hole, this time wet and slippery. 

“Yes?” 

Alec took a deep breath. “Yes.” 

And then he felt it press inside of him. It was a slow and steady sensation, strange but not bad, and before he knew it, it was as far as it could go. 

Magnus let him breath for a moment, but then he was pulling it back out almost all the way, and then pushing it back in again. He kept it slow at first, and as he did, Alec tried to understand what he was feeling. As Magnus began to speed it up, Alec thought he began to understand why this felt good. It was the drag against his sensitive skin, the feeling of fullness that he knew would just get more intense as they went, and then there was the mental aspect, the fact that he knew it was Magnus doing this to him, and altogether Alec decided this was something he liked very much. 

“How do you feel?” Magnus’s voice was calm, but Alec could hear that he was affected. He blushed as he imagined what this looked like from Magnus’s point of view. 

“Want more.” Alec answered before he really thought about it, but when he did think, that was still what he wanted. 

“Are you sure?” Magnus sounded like he thought that might be a little too fast, but he was still moving his finger as they discussed it, and Alec still knew what he wanted. 

“Yes. Two. Please.” 

Alec felt rather than saw Magnus shiver against him, but then he was pulling out, and while he waited, Alec heard Magnus say, “Well, who am I to deny you when you ask like that?” 

And then he was back with two fingers. The stretch was more intense this time on the initial penetration, but after a few times in and out, the sensation was better. It was fuller, the drag against his inner walls was stronger, and the thrusts were more intense this way. Before he knew it, he was chasing each thrust with his hips, and Magnus easily took the hint, going harder and faster. 

“All this enthusiasm, love, and I’ve kept from you the very best part, until…” Magnus murmured, and changed the angle subtly with the next few thrusts until suddenly Alec felt a jolt of pleasure so intense he could barely imagine it was real. His entire body moved with it, and he couldn’t help letting out a sound that he somehow didn’t think Magnus would mind all that much. 

“Mmm, found it.” Magnus said, sounding incredibly self-satisfied, and the next several minutes were a haze of pleasure that left Alec nearly delirious. He knew he was making sounds, and he knew he was thrashing about in near-ecstasy, but he couldn’t have controlled it if he tried. 

When Magnus pulled out and came back with three fingers and a murmured, “Ready?” Alec just nodded and barely noticed the sting that followed. Soon he was as used to it as he had been before. It was only when Magnus ran his other hand up Alec’s back and then back down that Alec realized he still wanted more, and then exactly what “more” entailed. 

“Want you to fuck me.” Magnus paused mid-thrust and looked at him. Alec could feel his eyes on the back of his head. 

“You’re completely sure? We don’t have to do that today, if you don’t want to.” Magnus said it in a way that Alec believed. 

“I want to.  _ Yes,  _ Magnus, I want to. You’ve driven me to the very… the very heights of arousal, and now I must absolutely  _ demand  _ that you fuck me. If you want to.” Alec absolutely refused to be embarrassed by anything he’d just said. 

Magnus stared at him with those wide golden eyes of his for several seconds, and then he was pulling out of Alec and flipping him over so fast that Alec barely knew what was happening before Magnus was on him and they were kissing. “My love, of course I want to. How do you want this? It would be easier the other way, but I don’t really want to --” 

“I want to look at you. Can we stay…?” 

“Yes, I can make that work, darling, just --” and then Magnus was shoving a pillow under his hips and nearly dropping a bottle of lube all over the sheets in his haste to slick up his cock, and then Alec’s legs were around his waist, and Magnus was lined up to push in, and they were staring into each others eyes, and Magnus looked so completely wrecked with pleasure as if he’d been the one systematically taken apart and put back together just now, and Magnus didn’t even have to ask the question for Alec to nod, and before Alec knew it, he was feeling every inch of Magnus’s cock push inside him in the slowest thrust ever in the world, and all Alec could think was,  _ How does he have this much control? _ Because for a moment Alec forgot the past existed at all, and the only thing that existed was this, right here, right now. 

When he was fully inside, Magnus stopped moving entirely, and Alec forced himself to breathe. He was so full, and Magnus was everywhere, but instead of being overwhelming the weight of him was reassuring, and before long Alec found himself running hands over Magnus’s soft skin, and he realized Magnus would wait an eternity for him to say, “You can move now.” 

So he did. The pull out wasn’t quite as good as the push in, because although it had the same friction of skin against skin and came with the same gratification of watching a centuries-old warlock nearly lose his self-control over  _ Alec _ of all people, it left him feeling empty and waiting for the thrust back in to fill him up again. 

And when a particular thrust in found his prostate once again, Alec couldn’t help begging for faster-harder-faster, and Magnus was all too eager to comply. The only sounds were skin meeting skin and Magnus’s ridiculous-perfect sweet talk, and Alec couldn’t have imagined anything in the world better than this. 

It wasn’t long at all before Alec was murmuring “Gonna come.” and if Magnus thought it strange that he hadn’t touched his cock the entire time, he didn’t say anything, just focused his thrusts in on Alec’s prostate until the strongest orgasm of his life was washing over Alec like jumping off a cliff or being hit by a car in New York traffic, Alec didn’t even know anymore, and before he came down Magnus was joining him over the edge. 

There was at least a full minute of heavy breathing and foreheads pressed together before Magnus moved as if he was going to pull out, but Alec wrapped his arms tight around his neck and said, “Not yet.” 

Magnus’s fond laugh was exhausted, but Alec could still hear it. “Have to, love. Neither of us will like it in a minute.” 

Alec considered this and honestly didn’t think it was true. 

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” 

Alec conceded the point and released his death grip. Magnus made good on his promise of not going anywhere and pulled Alec into a very tight cuddle immediately after. 

Once Alec felt like he could order his thoughts in a coherent pattern again, he said, “That was the most amazing experience of my life.” 

Magnus laughed delightedly. “I did try my best. I’m pretty sure I used most of my tricks at the beginning, there, so I don’t know how I’m going to top that next time, but.” 

“Just do that every single time in the exact same way, and I swear I will never get tired of it.” Alec may possibly have still been delirious with aftershocks of pleasure. 

“Exactly the same way, you say?” Magnus was teasing him, but Alec could not bring himself to care. 

“You were holding out on me the first time, with the, with the sexy voice, and the, I don’t even know what it was, but I loved it.” Alec was rambling. He didn’t usually ramble. 

“You liked it? Really?” Magnus actually sounded insecure, and Alec simply  _ could not  _ allow that. 

“Yes. I think I liked it better than the other way, actually.” Alec admitted, “And it’s not just because you know what you’re doing and I don’t.” 

“You’re a perfectly lovely top, Alexander, and you’ll only get better with time.” Magnus said, but he was clearly thinking something else. 

“What is it?” Alec asked, and Magnus looked at him as if surprised to be caught. 

“I was just thinking about how I’ve never dated another bottom before, actually, and I was contemplating the magnificent idea of someone actually letting me top more than once a year, which is a wonderful prospect, I assure you.” 

Alec was glad to know that if he was delirious, then Magnus definitely was as well. 

“How can you call yourself a bottom, when --” Alec began, but Magnus cut him off. 

“Women are different. With  _ men  _ I’m a bottom.” Magnus explained, waving a hand. 

Alec blinked. “I was going to say when you’re such an amazing top, but that too, I guess.” he said, wrinkling his nose at the idea of “women” and “sex” in the same sentence. 

Magnus was looking at him with scrunched eyebrows. “Does it bother you? That I’ve been with men and women? I know I put it out there right away on purpose, but,” he broke off with an expressive shrug, “does it bother you now that we’re  _ here. _ ” 

“No! Not at all, I promise. I was actually, uh,” Alec looked away from his eyes, “contemplating ‘sex with women’ as a concept for myself and finding it rather distasteful. On a personal level.” 

Magnus relaxed with a soft chuckle. “It’s really not that bad.” 

Alec shuddered. “I will take your word for it. And agree to disagree.” 

Magnus smiled and tucked his face against Alec’s neck, and they were quiet for a few minutes. 

When Magnus started talking again, Alec knew what he was going to say before he even said it. “I’m glad we’re having this conversation, Alec, but I have to admit that I’m a little surprised that we are.” 

He sounded like he didn’t want to ruin the moment by talking about the moment, but in the end he couldn’t help it. 

Alec sighed. “I said I was going to try harder, didn’t I? And I am. And also, we just did…” Magnus looked back up at him with a lazy smirk, waiting for Alec’s description of what they just did, “ _ all of that, _ so I kind of haven’t returned to my… normal mindset yet? But I’ll try to keep it closer to here for more of the time.” 

Magnus was quiet for a second, tracing invisible patterns on Alec’s skin. “I don’t want you to be incredibly uncomfortable either. We don’t have to be the couple that’s always talking about sex.” 

“I know. And right now I’m not uncomfortable. Maybe tomorrow morning when we’re, I don’t know, wearing clothes?” Magnus huffed another laugh, “I’ll feel a bit differently, but really, if something bothers me, trust that I’ll tell you.” 

A moment of consideration, then, “Alright. I do trust you. Very much.” Magnus sounded like he meant it, and Alec was so glad. 

“I trust you, too. More than anyone.” Alec admitted. 

Magnus pulled back to look at him, “Anyone? Even Jace?” 

Alec thought about this. “Honestly? It’s equal. He’s my  _ parabatai _ , and our souls are connected or whatever, but you’re my…” Alec considered what exactly Magnus was. “Boyfriend” didn’t sound like a strong enough word for what he wanted to convey. “You’re you.” 

Magnus was looking at him with wonder and more than a little helpless confusion. 

“What?” 

“I’m the son of a Prince of Hell, Alec.” Magnus said, as if that had anything to do with how much Alec trusted him. 

“And my parents murdered downworlders for fun in Valentine’s gang. We’re not our parents. You’re not Asmodeus. You’re nothing like Asmodeus, really.” Alec said, and wondered if anyone who wasn’t a warlock had ever said those words to Magnus before, because the look on his face in that moment was something Alec wanted to cherish for the rest of his life. 

“Oh, Alec, how on earth did I find you?” Magnus murmured, clinging to him. 

Alec clung right back. “Same way I found you, I guess. Fate decided that we get to be happy.” 

Magnus just clung tighter. Alec didn’t think he ever wanted to let go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day!! <3


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